Ronan Jude: Part VI The NICU

It’s NICU awareness month. It’s a cause I knew nothing about until I became a NICU mom myself. I’m a part of all the groups, all the chats, I get all the newsletters; I was chosen. Chosen to be the mother of a miracle baby, a superhero child, a baby that defied all the odds. 

Our experience in the NICU was life-changing. There are no words to describe the highs and lows this place brings you to. Simply put, you walk in every day just praying there’s not a team of doctors rushing to your baby’s door. You hope your baby is breathing. You pray for life every single day. Your world has stopped and a new one has started within the walls of this place. It drains the joy from your soul, the happy from your step, and the hope from your eyes. It’s lonely, it’s cold, it’s full of beeping machines and the smell of Purell fills the stagnate air. But this is the place we came to call home, or as Nadia calls it, “Ronan’s house,” for the better part of two months.

It’s where we begged God to do miracles. It’s where we held our precious boy for the first time. It’s where our first family photo of four was taken. It’s the only place I was ever able to nurse my son. It’s where our baby was brought back to life. It’s where our heats broke and surrendered to God’s will for our baby’s life. It’s where our lives forever changed.

It’s where complete strangers become your friends because you shared this unique and special bond. Nurses and doctors became lifelines, people who encouraged you to be strong. The mere sight of their faces began to fill that fading joy, their gentle and loving care became the security you needed to face another day. It’s where I learned nothing is outside the control of God, because he really does have the whole world in His hands.

The anthem, and soundtrack, of our time in the NICU became MercyMe’s song Even If, because no matter the outcome, even to this day, our hope is still in Christ. His plan for our family had been nothing but perfect, and while somedays it’s been so very difficult to see, He has been and continues to be faithful. it’s been so very difficult  

For what words can not express, sight and sound take place; here is a glimpse of our time in the NICU.

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