A Wife First

I recently started the Seamless Bible study by Angie Smith. In short, it's a big picture Bible study of the entire Bible. It's set up great for someone like myself. I thrive off these type of work book studies! Angie must have known mothers need a little help sometimes. I'm only two weeks in and my note book is scratched full of things God has shown me already. Things I’ve read hundreds of times before are speaking into my life differently. Perhaps it's because I’m older, or maybe it's the stage of life I’m in, either way it's been great for me. 

Sunday school stories have new meanings to me now. One particular story that really jumped out to me was the story of Jacob and Esau. Traditionally we learn about the two brothers and their betrayal of each other, but this time around their mother stands out to me.

So let's learn something from Rebekah... 

Not too much is written about Rebekah, so let's look at what's there. Genesis chapter 24 tells us that she was beautiful and giving. She offered to help a prefect stranger water all his camels, (pretty flirtatious huh?!) not only that, but she willingly went to a strange country to marry someone she didn't even know! Obviously this was the norm back then, but really? There is no way I would do that!

Okay, so we skip to the glorious "meeting" of Rebekah and her husband to be. Needless to say she didn't have much time to get to know her betrothed; they got straight to business (Genesis 24:67).  I'd like to note one thing here, the Bible tells us in this passage that Isaac loved Rebekah. Okay, save that thought. 

Fast forward, Rebekah is barren. She wants a baby so Isaac, her husband, asks the Lord to open her womb. Not long after two little boys make their way into her world. How's that for an answer to prayer?!

Remember how I told you to remember that Isaac loved Rebekah? Okay good, because this is where it gets interesting. While I believe Rebekah came to love her husband over time, the Bible never tells us that she actually did love him. What it does tell us, is that Rebekah loved her second son, Jacob.

As Isaac gets older he wants to bless his firstborn son Esau, and we all know the story from here... Rebekah rigs a nice little plan to deceive her husband and gets her favorite son the blessing. My question is this, what happened to the beautiful, giving, kind hearted Rebekah? 

You know what I think happened? She let her children, rather child, get between her and her husband.

Before we get all judgmental on Rebekah though, let me say that this; this is VERY easy to do, it's actually pretty common. Somehow, our little mommy brains turn on and we forget about that dear man we fell in love with.

After having our daughter, life was completely different. Before her arrival my husband got all my attention, he walked in the door and I was there to greet him. We all know that didn't last long after his little clone of a daughter walked onto our lives!

After about three months, my husband made a comment that grabbed my attention. One morning after I picked up the baby and smiled at my little bundle, Ryan said something to the effect of, "Why don't you smile at me like that when I walk in?" Of course I replied, "I do!" But I hadn't been. 

So quickly this new life became my main focus and I had forgotten to be a wife first. Yes, I said a wife FIRST. I know this sounds crazy to some, but it's the way God intended it. You were a wife before you were a mother, and your role as a wife needs to be your main priority. Much easier said than done I know.

Your marriage needs to be a priority, it's the best thing you can do for your child. 

Oh, and ladies, shave those legs, fix that hair and get your butt out on a date! Your child will survive with out you for a few hours. However, your negligence to your marriage can bring destruction to your home.

I recognize that we think our husbands will understand if we can't spend time with them, after all you're raising his children! But that is destructive thinking. Your husband needs you, he needs your support, he needs your love, and he needs to feel respected and important. He needs to know that he is your one and only.

Look at the devastation Rebekah caused by choosing her son over her husband. She destroyed her family, her son had to flee his country because his brother wanted to kill him! She trained Jacob to be a deceiver and liar. She obviously had little reverence for her husband as she tricked his poor soul. What kind of a woman does such a thing? 

A woman who puts her job as a mother above her role as a wife. 

This can be a daily struggle for me sometimes. I can't explain how easy it is to be a mom and how difficult it is to be wife at times. I wish there was a method to follow to make sure I can do both fairly. It is a decision I have to think about each day, but when my husband walks in that door he needs his wife. I know there isn't a formula to solve this situation, but I have come up with a few things that help me remember I'm a wife before a mother. 

How to put your husband first

Don't be a Rebekah, be your husbands wife.

Also remember your children aren't the only things that can come between you and your husband. For some it's a job, hobby, other relationships, distractions come in many forms. Keep your guard up around your marriage! 

As a little reminder, I've created this free download for you all.You will not be charged anything in checkout, you just need to fill out the order form to get the digital file. Make it your phone screen saver, print it out and frame it, send it to a friend, whatever works best for you. Just remember you're a wife first.

No Longer a Slave to Fear Free Screen Saver!
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No Longer a Slave to Fear Free Digital Download

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Hope you enjoy! I've also launched a FB page, you'd make my heart happy if you check it out and gave it a big thumbs up! Find me here! I'll be sharing fun little things on there daily ;-) 

Cheers!

Christina 

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