This year I've been actively trying to be a petter person. I know that sounds pretty vague, but it's the best way I can generalize a years work so this post isn't forever long.
In order to grow, I had to figure out where I was. So I did a lot of self evaluation; I had to dig deep and be honest about myself and my feelings. What I found was truly eye opening and frankly, discouraging. I discovered that I'm a pretty ugly person sometimes.
I know that we all want to be better and grow, but we're stuck because we don't want to be honest with ourselves. So in a way to keep myself honest and continue growing I've asked myself this question:
Are you genuinely happy for others who have something you want?
This is a soul searching question. Maybe you quickly answered yes, but take a few minutes to be honest with yourself. Yes, we can act as if we're happy but are you genuinely happy for that person who just got the job you've been working for.
Are you genuinely happy for your girl friend who just got engaged, or you secretly jealous that you haven't found the one yet.
Are you genuinely happy for that couple that just announced they're having another baby, or are you tired of seeing yet another baby announcement that's not your own. I know that there is much more behind this particular scenario, but it's still something to ask ourselves.
Are you genuinely happy for the success of another in your industry, or do you feel threatened.
Are you genuinely happy for the those who seem to intentionally hurt you with no visible consequences, or are you building anger in your heart.
Are you genuinely happy for the new chapter in your friends life even though you're stuck in a not so happy chapter of yours?
Are you genuinely happy with the progress your friends have made in their health, or are you jealous?
Only you know your heart, just like only I know the honest answer to these questions; but I've found others can tell when you're genuine. I've had lots of good and bad things happen to me this year and I've see some really awesome people encourage and rejoice with me through all those moments. But let me tell you, it was easy to see the the difference from those who were genuine and those who were just going through the motions.
Don't let jealousy and bitterness stunt your growth, be honest with yourself and make some changes. It's not easy, but it does get better and I know God will bless you! I can't tell you how much happier I've been since I've been working on this area; it's as If I'm enjoying all the wonderful things that are happening around me even though they're not actually mine to enjoy.
It's a true test of my character.