Why is life so hard. I have continually asked myself this questions the older I get, especially the past six months.
When you're a kid, you're told not to worry about peer pressure, don't worry about what other people think. Be who you are and people will accept you for being you. But the truth of the matter is, people don't really like anyone that's different from them. Oh, and it doesn't change once you've reached a certain age. If anything it gets worse.
Typically I try to keep this blog a happy place, one where others can come to be encouraged. But sometimes life isn't always happy. We have bad days, I have bad days, you have bad days; but we're not suppose to talk about them, right? We can't let anyone know that we're imperfect, because after all, who would stand by us if we showed our flaws?
I've tried and retried to write an uplifting post over the past several weeks but it's been fake and that's not who I am. It's not my goal to sugarcoat life. It's not my vision to present myself as someone who has it all together. Nothing could be further from the truth. In all honesty, I don't really care lately. I know that sounds harsh, but can I be real here? I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of constantly messing up. I'm frankly tired of people! Don't do it, don't judge me; you've been there too.
As a pessimistic introvert it’s very difficult for me to socialize and maintain relationships. I tend to see the worst in people, and it takes a lot of convincing for me to see goodness in people without lots of proof. I know, it’s not pretty. But please allow me to be real here. I typically don’t like people. Some of you are laughing thinking, "well you sure picked the worst job ever then, all you do is interact with people!". Well, that’s just proof God has a sense of humor folks. I’m a loner for sure; give me a night to myself and I’m happier than Stanley on pretzel day (shout out to all The Office fans). I’ve seen a lot of ugly in people, and unfortunately it takes a lot for me to trust people. Before you go getting all psychoanalytical on me, I’m just being real. It doesn’t mean I need some pills and a couch, thank you very much. If life is all about relationships, and relationships make our lives better…why is life so stinking hard sometimes?
Well, It’s because we are all imperfect. Yet, we try to convince the world and ourselves that we aren’t. The most important things in life don't come easy; how many times have we heard that before? Relationships are pretty much the worst and best thing all smashed up into one. We work for them, we hate them, we stress over them, we love them, we’re wounded by them, we’re scared, we’re healed, we’re changed, we’re driven by them, we're evaluated by them. Essential, they have the power to control us. That my friend, is why life is so hard. We do care, even though we try to convince ourselves we don’t.
It's okay to care, but care in a way that’s logical; that’s what I’m learning. Some relationships aren’t worth the fight, bumps, bruises and bloody mess if they leave you handicapped. People will abuse and use you, and it's in those times that it's hardest to be longsuffering. One of the most comforting passages of scripture to me is Hebrews 2:18, "For in that He himself hath suffered being tempted, He is able to succour them that are tempted". That means Christ suffered just like we do, and He is able to help us through our suffering. He knows our exact feelings, He's been there. Knowing that truth has helped me through so many bad days, and I hope it helps you today.
Don’t give up yet (BTW, i’m preaching to myself) somethings are worth fighting for.