Ronan Jude: Part lll

Ronan was healthy and happy, squished inside my now huge belly. At 41 weeks I was checked for any progression and there was absolutely none. According to the midwife, everything was high and tight. At this point, I was extremely discouraged, I thought for sure I’d at least have some sign of progression, but nope.

After much thought and discussion with my husband, we decided to call and schedule a C-section. But, the midwife wanted to talk before scheduling anything. I went in and she encouraged me to let my body do what it was made to do, to give it time. I folded, instead, we decided to schedule an induction. It was Friday, so we scheduled the induction for Monday pending room at the hospital. Monday came and went, as did Tuesday, and half of Wednesday before we were finally able to get in. 11 days late, the induction process began. A final ultrasound was taken to ensure the baby’s head was down, it was, I saw it with my own eyes.

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Contractions started to come with a low dose of meds, it didn’t take long for them to become strong and close. Eventually, I got an epidural, pain subdued, and we fell asleep. Everything seemed to be going great until out of nowhere I got severe pains all throughout my abdomen.
I woke startled and confused as I watched my entire belly flip. Yes, it looked as if it tipped upside down. The pain was unbelievable, even masked by the epidural. Shortly after a nurse came in and informed us the baby’s heartbeat fell off the monitor.

She adjusted and repositioned the equipment several times, still nothing... no heartbeat. Doctors and nurses were flooding in the room, the ultrasound equipment was brought in, still no heartbeat. I looked at Ryan, he had his head down, he was praying. I looked at the doctor and said: “get him out now.”


What we couldn’t see was Ronan floating inside my abdomen, unprotected, completely outside the safety of my uterus. Unable to receive oxygen, unable to breathe, each second stealing tissue from his perfect little brain, robbing him complete motor function. We couldn’t see that I was bleeding inside, that everything was going so very wrong. 

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