Ronan Jude: to Part V

He was whisked away before I could even touch him. There was no skin to skin, no bonding, no family hugs. The space reserved for his first photographs remained empty in our cameras. The picture-perfect birth I so ignorantly imagined never made it out of the dark room. But sometimes, the greatest lessons are learned through development.

After being wheeled into the recovery room, the doctor explained what happened during surgery. She said the rupture was so great, if anyone besides her had done my operation, they would have done a hysterectomy. I met her for the first time moments before she operated on me. Not only did this doctor save my life and my child’s life, but she just “happened” to be the only Doctor in that building skilled enough not to send my body into a menopausal state at 28 years old. Rewind, remember how it took three days before there was room in the hospital for us? Well, God knew we needed this doctor that night. She continued to tell us my uterus tore vertically and horizontally not leaving her many options, so she left me with a cross-shaped scar inside. God’s permanent reminder of his protection over us that day.

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The midwife on call that night was the only one I hadn’t had during my pregnancy. Again, God had all of this planned. When she walked into the room, unbeknownst to us, she knew who we were right away. She knew both our parents, attends our church, and was the woman God prepared to comfort us during the darkest hour of our lives.


Friends, I share this to remind you, there is absolutely nothing outside of the control of God. The night Ronan was born happened exactly the way God wanted it to happen. He had all the right people in all the right places, He was developing our story, and while the picture coming through wasn’t what we imagined, the Processor was spot on.

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